And then I heard this little piece of advice: The best we can do is figure out what it is that our spouse is trying to be, what makes him or her happy, and then do everything we can to help them become that person.
I heard this quotation (I have absolutely no idea where!) the evening after our last big fight over golf, and I don't think we've ever repeated that particular fight since. That was several years ago. To Jeremy's credit he works extremely hard to balance his play time with family time, but it's amazing how quickly all of my former resentment about his extra curricular leisure activities melted away. He loves golf. He loves BYU football. He loves every single sport on Earth. They make his life feel full and exciting, and it changes our relationship when I am the person who helps create opportunities for him to participate, or who bites my tongue when the opportunities come along.
It is one of those interesting, universal truths that when you are happy with your own life, you will also be much, much happier together!