Ten Things I Could Do Without

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1. Diaper rash. Changing diapers is already a blast without the added benefit of the lovely white paste that sticks to everything like rubber cement and takes ten minutes to scrub off.
2. Speedos. I just spent a week on the beach and I couldn't help wondering why?
3. Homemade art projects. I know this is unpatriotic of me as a mother, but there are only so many beautiful masterpieces that I can accept gracefully before I begin sneaking stuff into the trash can when kids aren't looking.
4. Sports Center. I am not exaggerating when I say it gives me a headache. If my hubby could just watch it on mute...yeah, that's not going to fly.
5. Kids music. Have you ever listened to a cd of kids music that didn't inspire you to throw yourself into oncomng traffic. My girls can sing U2 and Sting indiscriminately, even the two year old, and sometimes their little voices give me shivers on my arms.
6. Telemarketers and commercial television.
7. Unfinished basements. The storage space is amazing-blah, blah, blah. I firmly believe the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe resides in every unfinished basement.
8. The booger wall. Do all children go through the unseemly phase of pasting their boogers to their bedroom wall before falling asleep at night? Is this a rite of passage? No matter how often I make them clean the wall, no matter how many tissues I leave on their nightstand, the booger wall persists.
9. Hot dogs. The very smell makes me shudder, and don't get me started on the visual images of how these delicacies are made.
10. Carseats. I know they are keeping my children safe, but I truly long for the generations of yore when kids rolled and climbed all over the backseat without a thought for their safety. We are in that wonderful phase of, "No Mommy!" And she slaps my hand away. "I do it myself." I stand there trying to keep my head from exploding while her awkward, fat little fingers struggle to insert the buckle.

Do you have anything to add to this list?